What makes a belief irrational?

home library e-therapy essentials e-therapy now!

Once again, here's the belief:

I must be loved, or at least liked and approved of, by every significant person I meet. If not, I will feel awful and unloveable.

Any belief that works against either of our two primary beliefs is "irrational" because it is self-defeating. Our two primary beliefs are: I want to live as long as possible, and I want to be as happy as possible while I'm at it.

If I live more than a few days, it is inevitable that someone I meet will not even like me, much less love or approve of me. Not through any fault of my own, mind you; the other's capricious nature or ill-conceived priorities will be entirely to blame. Nonetheless, when I become aware of their disapproval, I have vowed to make myself miserable. That's irrational because it is inconsistent with my primary belief that I want to be as happy as possible.

It's also extra. Life already includes more than enough misery; any is more than enough. It's bad enough that some people will not like me. I do not want to take the extra, entirely unnecessary step of making myself miserable because they don't like me. That's like getting two whacks, instead of only one. We don't want to do that, right?

<< Return to fixing broken beliefs.